Kairi's Cupid like Crusade
by Akiko Fujishima
Summary: When life feels meaningless there's nothing easier than serving your fellow man to have a goal in life. Kairi is inspired, Selphie has a camera, Sora's gay and Riku is conveniently involved. It's a Divine Sign... RikuxSora,of course


**Kairi's Cupid-like Crusade, Ch. 1.**

**This was written with curative purposes—it might be a healthy way to express my feeling (annoyance) towards her. I don't mean to offend anyone, I swear!**

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A typically school day, student bored out of their minds and with her seventh yawn, Kairi had an epiphany. Well, not quite, it was just admitting what she had repressed during midterms. Life was getting dangerously boring in her sixteen-year-old, young and vibrant mind, an uncommon though for a girl her age, who was supposed to be experiencing life to the fullest.

This is when the real thing struck her like the muffin that got her eye during the epic food fight of October 13th. When she got into history class, Sora –her former almost boy-friend—, looked up and smiled—what a waste that he batted for the other team. Got outed three weeks ago, poor boy.

Back to the point, it was when those intense blue eyes, filled with promises of a better world stopped on her that a divine light, an amazing connection at the neuronal level or, as her poetic side liked to call it, an epiphany struck her, just like that blueberry muffin.

**ooOOoo**

Everyone thought of Selphie as Kairi's lame follower or devotee. Probably she was, up to some degree. Leaving aside the superficial critic of people, there was a lot more to their friendship than Selphie being Kairi's subordinator.

Okay, maybe hot and sexy (Tidus words, not hers) dark red-haired, witty Kairi with the blinding smile and the cute –somewhat retarded—laugh, in her opinion, got all the good qualities. But Kairi's mind was a crazed and spinning mess without control, if it wasn't for her. Kind of hard to believe, with that collected mask stuck in her face. But Kairi had a flaw too (_give people time to gasp_). More often than not, Kairi got a _little_ passionate and stubborn.

"SELPHIE! REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU WE WERE IN NEED OF MORE ALTURISTIC ACTIVITIES? "

"Ugh—not now. I just finished cleaning this place up."

To clarify, Selphie and Kairi were –the only— members of the Documental Club. It was lame, but Kairi loved humanitarian documentary and Selphie just followed. They were forced to share the place with the Audiovisual Club, the biggest pigs ever.

"God, this is **so** awesome I can't breathe! We're gonna fix Sora's social life!"

"You mean the sissy boy?" Kairi scowled hard "Sorry…! Geez, I don't think it's a very good idea."

At dismissive scoff, it was a routine "Nah, it's perfect. And we can _film_ it! That would be totally amazing!"

Her point proven. Selphie wondered how much time would pass before Kairi ended up crying over some screw up.

"Only if you think it's okay to pry into and film someone's private life." Selphie ignored her thoughts about Kairi being somewhat immune to direct-indirect speech—whenever it was convenient of course. She sighed "Anyway, if you are—I mean," another scowl, more annoyed this time "if _we _are actually going to do this, we'll just have to be more careful than last time. Sora is not a tree. If we mess up—"

"Yeah I know, I know." Selphie felt discomfort flooding her at seeing Kairi look sympathetic. "I just… I really want to help him out. Despite our previous—_issues_ he's still important to me.

Selphie hissed to herself wondering if it was okay, if it was ethical to let her friend get so emotionally involved into something that promised disaster.

**ooOOoo**

Selphie adjusted the little camera, taking far too long as usual. But Kairi wasn't there to point that out today; she was busy coaxing Sora into doing this. Selphie was in a good humor, because Kairi's idea was insane and even if she failed at having common sense sometimes, Selphie knew Sora had—kind of, right? Well, she knew mostly Sora for what she heard from Tidus… but _still_, he couldn't be worse than Kairi.

On the other hand, Sora had had a crush on her some time ago or something.

Selphie wondered if it still counted with Sora being gay an all.

Selphie's hyper-senses heard footsteps, "_—so, when do we start?_"

"_Right_ _away!_"

Selphie attached securely the expensive Sony DCRHC38; placed the chair on its corresponding spot. "Oh, God."

"Selphie, got everything ready?" the door swung open to reveal Kairi –she irradiated willingness- and Sora, greatly overshadowed and shy; the guy grinned anyway… So that was the smile that according to Kairi, promised a better future—huh, it sort of did.

**ooOOoo**

Selphie behind the camera; Kairi in a chair next to her and a full plain of Sora; who was in the spot light, his self filling the LCD screen.

"Sora, are you ready?"

Sora shuffled, ever since his sexual preferences became public domain permanently, being the center of attention burned, psychologically. He wasn't really burning…

"I guess?" his eyes were fixed on camera-girl's ducky yellow dress, but that was the only thing he could see while the flashlights murdered his retinas.

"There's no need to be nervous, 'kay?" who had said he was _nervous_? Yeah, he'd been wiping his hand on his shorts for the bizillionth time, but it was because of the lights. "Let's begin. Lights, camera—Selph…?" Sora appreciated the little blinking red light; then, he panicked. "Aaaaand, **action**!"

**Camera: ON**

"So, Sora" Kairi's voice. Sounded very professional " before we begin, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?"

Because he was panicking, duh! One second, two—five seconds. Blue eyes seemed to follow something far behind the camera and nod accordingly to it. His little startled grunt seemed to snap him out of whatever was on his mind.

"Ah, uh—Hi! I'm Sora… I'm sixteen. I'm a sophomore in D.I HS. I hate math and anything pre-cal related… Hum, I kinda like World History and P.E… What else?" Sora kept staring and gaping to something on the right "Er—I'm virgo? I like ice-cream and movies… and long walks at the beach-"

"Sora, not that. I'll never make you improvise again. We'll cut that during editing… Let's continue," a huff was heard and Sora seemed to shrink. "Sora, you said you like P.E. for some unknown reason; do you play any sports?"

Half-lidded eyes darted to the side and the corners of his lips tugged up "I used to—basketball. Small forward."

"I see—when and _why_" Sora winced unsubtly "did you stop playing?"

"…I knew you'll bring this up. So, okay. I'm like weird—I, I mean, not weird. It's not like I'm a freak, but… So, whatever. I-I'm _gay_ and some of the guys—they felt uncomfortable around me, y'know? Long story short, I went through hell—especially when we were in the locker room and I quit a week ago. I heard they lost the game against Twilight High…"

(Somewhere behind the camera, Kairi discarded the evil glint in Sora's eyes as a light effect.)

"That's very interesting. Sora, can you tell a bit more about how you found out you were gay?"

"Uh—h," Sora snorted, leaving nervousness behind; his hand signalizing, for emphasis. "That is a funny story—So, it was about four months ago… and there was this girl I liked and we had something going on. The thing is she got clingy and demanding. God, it was unbearable…"

This story sounded a bit too familiar for Kairi.

"When that happened, I hung out with the guys more—like and excuse. And there's this friend, we know each other for, like, forever and we were best buds in middle school… Anyway, it was hot that day and we had a water balloon fight and someone tackled me. I scraped my face, I was bleeding like hell; it was gross…!" maybe it has something to do with his all-excited-it's-christmas tone and all the bouncing, but he didn't look that grossed out at all "…then Riku took care of me. He cured me and was nice even when I called him a m(bleeeep)ker, son of a b(bleep)ch. Hn, his touch…_ tickled_—" Sora trailed off, eyes dreamy. Selphie snorted. "I—uh… I'm not in love with him or anything! _Please_ don't tell him what I said! It's already hard for him to be associated with me—and he's been cool with all this, he doesn't need retaliation too." Sora stopped squirming and shifting only after both girls muttered a vague answer. "But, lately I've been thinking that maybe that's not it—or at least not _all_. So, I was talking about this girl, Kai—er, I mean, this incognito girl was such a pest that becoming gay was the only choice I had to get rid of her… Don't laugh Selphie! She was driving me crazy!" Sora flushed face split in a grin and Kairi fumed silently, tapping her heel in the linoleum.

"What's with that '_Kai—er, uh'_ part?" said the incognito girl—no, Kairi.

"No, it wasn't you Kairi! Seriously! Hey, why are you eying me like I'm lying or something—? 'Cause I'm **not**!" and right there, Selphie's giggling knew no end "You and me shared wonderful memories!" There was a noise of a body hitting the floor—it was Selphie, clutching her stomach. Rolling on the floor.

Threatening blue slits, delineated in dark-red, shut Sora's gaping mouth "We'll cut that during editing too." The death-glaring lasted just enough to remember Selphie this was serious work they were doing and she corrected her behavior. "So, since we know all the facts, we can begin. Sora, what do you want to accomplish? Why are you seeking for help?"

"I didn't. You abducted me and blackmailed me right after threatening to rip off my balls…"

"I never said that—" just a slight twitch in her eye. "I swear it with my life and whatever it is that you were doing at Seifer's party with _you know who_…"

Sora squeaked. Sora reassured himself by saying that manly men squeaked too "Let's not get drastic—I was just _kidding_! I sought for Kairi's sacred help because I need help to deal with my social life, which crumbled, got on fire and succumbed on a pile of ashes."

"Don't worry hon! Leave it all to Selphie and Kairi. We'll help you deal with your issues and, who knows—!" Kairi walked behind Sora, clutching his shoulders, smiling brightly "you might end with" wink "with a boyfriend!"

"Dude, that was cheesy. Amarite?"

Selphie's voice came from behind the scene. "Yup, definitely. We'll have to cut that too…"

Kairi was really good at this masking your emotions business. "So join us in our venture to accomplish reincorporate Sora in high school society, not as an outcast!"

**Camera: OFF**

Kairi left grumbling something about 'Mutiny'. When Sora asked, absolutely puzzled, if Kairi was talking about pirates or what, Seplhie backed from the camera, no noise was coming from her but drowned laughter and at that point, she decided she was gonna _love_ working with Sora.

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**Aww—Sora, I love you!**

**It's short, I know but I discovered I'm not meant to write many words… I'm SORRY! Dx**

**Review? Anyone?**

**Atte,**

**Akiko Fujishima.**


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